Keens Steakhouse
72 West 36th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues (Garment District)
New York, NY 10018
(212) 947-3636
Subway: B/D/F/Q/W/N/R to 34th Street
Bus: M2/3/4/5/6/7, Q32 to 34th Street


I have a friend who currently resides in Dubai, but formerly lived in Manhattan, and when he comes for a visit, I always organize a “welcome back” dinner with a large group of our friends. The restaurant we choose is almost as important as the people we invite, and for this visit, we chose Keens. Established in 1885, Keens is curiously an oft-overlooked steakhouse on the edge of the Garment District that oozes classic New York. Perhaps because it is less mainstream than a Luger’s or Smith & Wollensky, it was easy to make a reservation on OpenTable (http://www.opentable.com/), and when I called the restaurant directly to change the time and increase the number in our party from eight to 14, the hostess was incredibly accommodating (as an added bonus, I still received my 100 OpenTable points). I recommend arriving before dinner to enjoy an aperitif in their adjoined bar which boasts three trivia questions daily.

The rich history of Keens remains in and on the walls, and while the restaurant’s ceilings are low, this gives you the opportunity to wonder and amaze at the many churchwarden pipes decorating the ceiling. The lore of these pipes is that Keens had previously been the Pipe Club and housed the pipes of historical celebrities the likes of J.P. Morgan, Teddy Roosevelt, General MacArthur, Albert Einstein and Babe Ruth.

A group of 14 can be unruly and unmanageable, especially with 10 bottles of wine plus drinks at the bar beforehand, but there is one perk: many dishes are ordered, and I’m not shy about asking to taste. The lobster cocktail was a perfectly cooked half a lobster tail, claw and knuckle served with a bland Green Goddess-like dressing. My husband’s lobster bisque (a special of the evening) was delicate yet rich with hints of Cognac and sherry. The Maryland lump crabcakes were full of crabmeat with very little filler – exactly how they should be. The New Orleans oysters Rockefeller (I have never tried the original at Antoine’s, http://www.antoines.com/) were different – I was expecting an oyster-version of clams Casino (baked with a golden crusty bacon topping), but these were less golden and crusty and more herby and dense, and the oysters were just barely cooked underneath. They were fine, but when you expect to taste one thing and then taste another… it always tastes strange.

Now if you've heard of Keens, you should know that their signature dish is the mutton chop. On December 14, 2005, Frank Bruni, food critic for the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/), reviewed Keens Steakhouse and discovered that the mutton chop is actually mature lamb rather than more than one-year-old sheep. Despite our knowledge of this truth, nine of 14 of our diners ordered the famed mutton chop. The mutton chop is a daunting cut, 26 ounces, as thick as my fist and wrapped with a "tail" of thoroughly-crisped fat, yet plates were practically licked clean and enjoyed by all nine. The porterhouse for two, which my husband and I shared, was delicious. Atypical of most New York steakhouses, this porterhouse was served on a normal restaurant dish rather than a sizzling metal plate. Yet, the dry-aged steak was perfectly cooked (like every other piece of meat we ordered) and tender, with amazing taste and texture. My favorite entrée from Keens, which I did not order on this occasion, is the prime rib; it is ginormous (a bit reminiscent of a Medieval Times event) and delectable, especially with horseradish.

Our side dishes were the usual: hash browns (crusty and wonderful), mashed potatoes (unmemorable), French fries (the first to go), creamed spinach (typical steakhouse), sautéed wild mushrooms (woodsy but salty) and green beans (my favorite green). In addition we also had a request for the carrots with brown butter, which, I was told, were the best carrots ever had by a carrot-lover at our table. Personally, I felt they were a little sweet, but I’m anti-dishes like sweet potato marshmallow casserole, which many people enjoy and love.

The wine list was typical steakhouse, full of many big reds from all over (primarily France, California, Italy), and we chose two from France: a Pomerol and a Margaux in the $60-75 range. Both were fair choices, although the Margaux was preferred by the serious red wine drinkers. The Pomerol really needed to breathe.

Although there wasn’t much room left for dessert, we still ordered a few for the table (listed from bad to better): a terrible crème brulee, an average Lady M chocolate cake and a pretty good New York cheesecake. Most were not finished. I wish we had ordered the bread pudding, one of my general favorite desserts. My advice: fill up on meat and pass on dessert. I chose to pass on my own dessert and enjoy a very good port which a friend recommended.

As usual, everything was as delicious and reliably prepared as expected; the only unreliable shocker of the night was the higher than usual price tag: $145 per person including tax and tip. But with all that wine and a happy stomach, who’s counting?