‘inoteca
98 Rivington Street at Ludlow (Lower East Side)
NY, NY 10002
(212) 614 0473
www.inotecanyc.com

For some reason, our large dinners with friends are always on the Lower East Side these days. The fact that Lower East Side restaurants are generally quite small is why I find this awfully ironic. On a recent Wednesday night, my 13 closest friends and I shared a table in the wine cellar at ‘inoteca. I hosted a dinner party in the same space a year and a half ago and was generally pleased with the food, the wine, and especially, the space. The wine cellar is a scrappier version of Oceana’s private wine cellar and a great deal for anyone looking to have a large dinner party on a budget. The cellar is reserved for large parties and both times I used the space, there was another large party set up adjacent to our table in a pseudo shout match fashion, table versus table. There is a slight catch to acquiring this relatively cheap party venue – the mandatory tasting menu. Although the set menu makes ordering, eating, and calculating the tab a much simpler procedure, it would have been sort of nice if the food was actually good.

Given that we also paid for one additional person’s 4-course meal (first course, second course, cheese course, and dessert) because a friend wasn’t able to make it to dinner last minute, as well as the number of people who were eating light that night, I figured there would be plenty of food, which ‘inoteca serves family style, for each person. This certainly was not the case. Plates were delivered from one person to the next, like a well-oiled assembly line running at top speed, with each person taking a small morsel and passing the plate on. I was starving, but there was no part of me that wanted the beets and orange salad and I knew from my first helping how bland the romaine, radicchio, and ricotta salad actually was. Since I do not eat pork, I skipped most of the charcuterie plate except for the bresaola which was decent.

The second course consisted of meatballs (polpette), polenta, a dish called lasagnette di melanzane which was halfway between lasagna and eggplant parmesan, and panini sandwiches, either sopressata and goat cheese or roasted vegetables and ricotta. The paninis’ bread to meat/cheese ratio was pathetic and a crime for anyone who would even consider doing the South Beach Diet. Although pathetically boring, the paninis were plentiful. The eggplant itself was tasty, but not nearly as good as I remember the $4 eggplant parmesan at Joe’s pizzeria in Mamaroneck, NY being during my teenage years. I treated ‘inoteca’s dishes like a takeout order of mediocre Indian curry and rice by mixing the eggplant and polenta to create a halfway pleasant meal.

If I had known what to expect of the cheese course, I would not have dared to call the panini pathetic and would have waited for the following course. There was barely enough fruits and cheeses to feed about 6 people and the entire table was starving from being underfed and overall dissatisfied with the skimpiness of each dish. Skimpy, as in its ability to satiate. A meal should always be satisfying whether it be exactly what you were in the mood for or not. Satisfaction isn’t only about no longer feeling hungry. It’s also about believing that the chef combined and balanced the flavors and textures of a meal well. At least well enough to leave you feeling content afterwards. Unfortunately, I was left with an overwhelming emptiness following my first three courses.

Things improved slightly once the bite-size nutella paninis were served – they were devoured in record time and only about one or two people had the fortune of having two and not just one panini. The best part of the meal, unfortunately (or fortunately), was the last thing served to us and it was delivered in a tiny shot glass – affogato, a mix of espresso powder with hot water, chocolate ice cream (or gelato), and whipped cream.

We didn’t have time to discuss the meal or even the affogato because before we knew it, the two hours we were allotted the table had expired. The check arrived wrapped up in yet another tiny glass, this time a drinking glass. The meal was less than $65 per person including the bottles of unremarkable wine we had drank to help forget about the even less remarkable food.

I guess you get what you pay for.