Rex Café
(Comfort Food, French Bistro, American)
2323 Polk Street between Green and Union Streets (Russian Hill)
San Francisco, CA 94109
415 441 2244
MUNI Bus: 41, 45, 47, 49

Rex Café has a great location. Located along Polk Street in Russian Hill, Rex has outdoor seating, a large indoor bar, and dramatic high ceilings. Unfortunately, the food and service at Rex were a total disaster. I started with French onion soup which was watery yet salty, if that’s even possible. If it weren’t for the bread and massive amounts of cheese added, I would say that instant onion soup packets by Lipton are more satisfying. I also had a small Caesar salad, which was tiny, basic, and really a waste of money.

For my entrée, I had the butternut squash fettucine alfredo. Given my theory that fettucine alfredo is so rich, fattening, and made from so few ingredients that it would be criminal to make it poorly, I went for it. I thought the butternut squash was a Rex twist and looked forward to the amalgamation of flavors. It was an amazing feat that my entrée arrived at my table. Given the slow, oblivious manner of the waitress, I almost gave up on my entrée after 25 minutes had passed. The portion was small and the fettucine was almost inedible. It tasted more like rock candy than pasta.

I should have stopped there and walked down the street for a burrito to satiate my hunger; instead, I tortured myself with desserts. I figured chocolate cake was difficult to butcher and bread pudding gave off an air of “I’ve been on this menu for ages because I’m so good.” The bread pudding was almost as amazing as my entrée actually arriving to my table – it didn’t have any bread in it! It was candied grapes, raisins, and other fruit friends in a jelly sauce baked over something mushy that most likely was not bread and certainly didn’t taste like bread. The chocolate cake on the other hand looked like it was indeed chocolate cake. To my surprise, I encountered an ice crystal with my first bite. The cake had freezer burn.

Rex may have prime real estate but save yourself time, money, and even more time by skipping this place.